Intimate gift ideas and how to give them this holiday season

You’re about to feel really confident about giving the perfect sexy gift to your partner this year.


I know you’re all still shopping, or stressing about shopping, for the holidays. Your love probably has plenty of home decor, a good selection of throw blankets, and a wide selection of coffee mugs. So what do you get that won’t just add to the clutter? Do something different this year and give a gift that will make your partner say “Ooooooo” when they open it. I’m all about finding ways to make sure you give the right gift in the right way, so hopefully, these ideas help you feel confident about giving an intimate gift this year without any embarrassing moments.

Dress up time – The gift doesn’t have to be something they wear. It can be something YOU wear. I’m not just talking to the ladies about getting new sexy lingerie. Gentlemen – hetero, gay, and every expression in between – your partner may like to see you in a sexy speedo, a costume, or yes, lingerie. Different strokes for different folks, people! Christmas themed lingerie is particularly sexy to me for some reason. Is it hot in here?

Toys – My best advice is to not surprise your partner with a new dildo, not totally at least. You cannot return or exchange adult toys in most cases, there’s so much to choose from, and some people are picky. But you can avoid that disappointed look on their face! Get something they have been dropping hints about. You two can look at a website like Adam & Eve for ideas one night. Or, one night when you’re out shopping or running errands, pop into an adult toy store on the way home and pick toys out together (PS Shop Local if you can, because then you can see/touch/feel before you buy). Or, just ask your partner what toy they may want to add to their collection.

Sexy time accessories – Get creative and replenish your bedroom accouterment. Find candles in your favorite scents or ones you can use in sensation play. Get a new massage oil set, or flavored lubes. Add some under the bed cuffs and a set of waterproof Exxxtreme Sheets and you’re ready for a sexier 2019 together! For the more practical gift giver who likes tech, consider getting your sweetie a UVEE. This box uses ultraviolet light to clean your adult toys. BONUS: You can throw your phone or remotes in there, too. Honestly, your phone is probably dirtier than your butt plug, so it’s a great addition to any home.


Via Pexels

Jewelry – I’m not talking about something you can pick up at Jarrod. Some of us want something a little different, like nipple clamps, chokers, or handcuffs. Check out Unbound. These babes have a line of jewelry that can be worn to the office by day and turned into BDSM gear by night. How hot would it be to meet for drinks and see your partner wearing a necklace that will be used on you later as a whip?

Boudoir SessionĀ – This is one I wouldn’t recommend giving unless your partner has brought this up before. You can even do the session together. Boudoir photo sessions are very popular right now, and even your’s truly has done one. I’ve spoken to a few photographers that offer this service, and their top recommendation is that the person has to do it for themselves, not for their partner. Not many of us have lived a life where we take pictures in our underwear on the regular for a stranger, so they also have to be comfortable with the photographer and their energy. If anything, write a note or make a certificate for them that you’re going to purchase the session once they have found a trusted photographer.

Vacations – If you’re going to spoil your partner with the gift of a trip in 2019, consider making it a one-on-one getaway. Leave the kids, the friends, the parents behind and go on a trip to reconnect, just the two of you. There are so many choices! A romantic bed & breakfast in the mountains. A resort for couples in the Caribbean. Take a week together to have fun, to laugh, and to have some good sex. Or, join me for a couples retreat in 2019 in Jamaica! More info coming soon on that.

The point is, get creative. You do not have to wait until Valentine’s to give a give that will increase your intimacy and maybe improve your love life. Being physically close during the holidays will help solidify a sense of togetherness while also serving as a way to relax during this busy time of year. Orgasms release oxytocin, your love hormone, and it’s a powerful natural stress reliever.

Pro tip – Don’t give your sexy gift during traditional gift opening times with family or kids. Give it a day early. Give it first thing in the morning when you’re alone in your room. Whisper in their ear about what you’re gonna give them later. Imagine whispering in your partner’s ear, “Remember that toy we were looking at online? There’s a present under the bed for you.” Just don’t embarrass anyone, and don’t put it under the tree unless you have no kids at home. Mistakes can happen when wrapping paper starts flying around tiny humans.

Funny story about my parents time…I remember my dad giving my mom this pretty pink nightgown one year for Christmas. It had a lace top and chiffon flowy skirt. It reminded me of a pixie sort of, but sexy. I must have been, oh, maybe 4, and my mom looked at me sort of shocked as she held it up and she quickly put it back into the box and said a quick “thank you”. Dad looked over at me and just looked back at her saying, “What?” and shrugging. She rolled her eyes and set the box behind her. I think my dad thought I was too young to know what it really was or to hold onto the memory afterward. Sorry dad, your kid has a steel-trap memory and that is seared into my brain. Parents – only you can prevent memories like this one.


Have a very sexy Christmas! XOXO Kristen



Kristen Thomas is the Owner and Head Coach of Open the Doors Coaching, LLC. She helps people nurture their love lives as a relationship, dating and sex coach. Follow Kristen via Twitter @openthedoorskc, Facebook, and Instagram. Need help with your sex life or relationship? Striking out on dating sites? Looking to host a private group event or workshop with a coach? Email her at

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