Creating Space for Better Sex

Creating a special environment for sex in your bedroom can go a long way toward enhancing any intimate and sexual encounter with a partner. Building a sensual space can help promote intimacy, eroticism, and sexual desire for both you and your partner, which can be particularly helpful if you have mismatched libido or you’re experiencing a sexual drought within your relationship. 

One of the best ways to build this sensual space and increase the sexual energy within your bedroom is by creating a space that touches on all of the senses (smell, touch, taste, sight, and sound). When you focus on bringing balance and harmony into the bedroom using these senses, that balance and harmony will spill over into your love and sex life, bringing happiness and passion for you and your partner. 

During an episode of my podcast Keep Them Coming, I hosted Robyn Stevens, a Feng Shui practitioner and consultant, and I learned so much. She came over to my home recording studio and taught me some of the life changing and lifesaving things she learned for herself, and what she teaches other people. Robyn insists, “Your home is like an order form to the universe. You’re telling the universe what you want by how you live and what you surround yourself with.” There’s nothing sexy about clutter. Clutter is a huge block that people at times ignore. Having stacks of laundry or clothes to be donated in your bedroom is a subconscious energy drain. 

“The bedroom has two purposes – intimacy and sleep,” she said. The bedroom should not be where work occurs as that can pull from the intimate and serene energy of the space. 

Here are a few tips for building a sensual space and touching on all of the senses in the bedroom I picked up from Robyn and my practice with clients: 

It Makes “Scents” 

The smells of your bedroom, and of your home, help set a tone of sensuality. Pick scents you love, but generally notes of vanilla, rose, lavender, leather, or orange are top picks. Use a candle, a sheet spray, a cologne or perfume, or a wall plug. Sachets in your dressers and closets are good ideas too. 

Touchy Feely 

Is your mattress comfy? Adding fabrics like high thread count sheets, a soft comforter, rugs that feel delightful to walk on, or silky pillowcases are ways to increase the sexiness in addition to the fabrics you may wear on your body. Practice deep intimacy with touch sessions that aren’t focused on just sexual touch, like giving each other massages.

Tasty Treats 

This one doesn’t have to be in the bedroom per say, but consider having something nearby that’s a sweet treat to put yourself in a good mood, like a candy dish of M&Ms. It can serve as a little mood lifter before entering your space for intimacy and sleep. 

Visual Stimulation 

Do you have art with single figures? Is your bedroom filled with photos of your deceased loved ones? What colors are your walls? Adjust your lighting and add lamps with low light. Also, look at your partner during intimate and sexual situations. Their body is a canvas for you to observe and admire. 

Sounds good to me 

If you need something to cover up the noise of life (like kids, traffic outside, or even neighbors), add a Bluetooth speaker to your bedroom. Play a sensual playlist you love. Put on background noise that is peaceful and lets you relax. Rhythmic music helps unleash energy in your pelvis, also known as kundalini. Also, unleash sounds from your body as you’re experiencing pleasure, this will increase the sexual energy between both you and your partner!

Robyn noted that often with her clients “the bedroom is the last thing they tackle – decor wise, organization wise – because nobody [else] sees it. But it should be the first thing you tackle because it’s where you go to recharge your batteries, where you rejuvenate, where you sleep, where you get connected with your partner.” 

Don’t wait to set up your bedroom for romance! Start creating the best space for intimacy, sex, and sleep so that you can enhance all encounters with your partner!

Also, if you have toys that carry sexual energy from previous partner, consider replacing them. For advice on replacements, check out my Keep Them Coming column in The Pitch from January. 

You can listen to the entire podcast with Robyn Stevens on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5sclrSgWfandnxKOn7zg3M?si=50cabbbfc28049a0

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